finding a "new normal"

If you translate the word "normal" into German, you find that it's not too different from English; just slap an "e" on the end and attempt your best German accent - normale. The idea of finding a new normal is something that has consumed much of my thought life for several weeks now. Feeling such an array of emotions. Filtering through them, trying to make since of them as I go.

I have been so encouraged and challenged by an on-going email correspondence with one of my dear sister-in-laws. In a conversation about this very topic she encouraged me, "...the seasons you are facing...the dynamics, facets, relational and physical adjustments to diet, culture, time zone, driving, shopping, not knowing how to get anywhere, only knowing your husband...etc.etc.etc.etc. these are NOT small things." On this particular day I was feeling pretty low. Beating myself up because I was feeling less than content in my "here and now" and at the same time, feeling so ungrateful to be less than THRILLED for this new adventure. She gently and powerfully explained that finding contentment in the Lord was not the same as finding contentment in my season. There is such freedom in that sentence y'all. Freedom to acknowledge that I don't have to like every minute of this transition. This time of finding my our new normal. It's okay for me to miss home, friends, the familiar. It's okay for me to cry when I feel overwhelmed. It's okay. God's grace is enough. It is sufficient for ME.

In similar conversations I expressed feeling a sort of clumsiness. She graciously shared the link to a post she had written during her time overseas. In this post she compared learning a new culture to a dance... a cultural dance. What she had written years ago spoke directly to my heart. I jotted down several notes. "It will take time... I don't have to adjust in a certain amount of time... or even really completely ever." There is so. much. grace. in that sentence. I shared the following story with her... Daniel and I went to a town a few weeks ago about an hour away for a local festival. After walking by the first several cafés giggling and looking awkwardly around because we were unsure if we were "supposed" to seat ourselves, or if anyone in the café spoke English, or if we would "like" anything on the menu, we decided to bite the bullet in the next café we passed and set down. Our waitress walked to the table, said something in German we did not understand to which I bashfully asked, "Sprechen Sie English?" She smiled and replied "Nein" (no). At that point I glanced Daniel's way, glanced back at the waitress and asked for "eine moment". She said "Ja" and walked away. This exchange, although I'm sure it was less than 60 seconds felt like at least 5 minutes of silence. At this point, we also realized the menu was entirely in German (duh!). We decided to stay and figured we could point to what we wanted on the menu. Moments later, another waitress walked over, speaking English and was able to helpe us order.

Awkward and unnatural as it may have felt, we did it, we set down at a German café, ordered from the menu, listened to everyone around us speaking a language we did not understand, paid in euros and went on our merry way. All this to say, I think our baggiest obstacle is going to be having courage to step outside our comfort zone and look a little off beat on the dance floor the first few songs. We aren't going to learn the language or the culture if we never step out of our "American bubble".

Since this adventure we have met some American neighbors (two couples in particular), and have, with their help been able to step outside the American bubble a little easier. We have experienced riding the bus, navigating the bahnhof (German train station), experienced a true German festival, and attended a local sporting event. These neighbors have been an absolute gift. They have each been here for over two years and know so. much. Sadly for us, one of the couples are headed back to the states in a matter of weeks. But seriously, they've been a living-breathing "how to navigate life in Germany" book for us. And we so appreciate it.

 

 

In other news, our household goods shipment has ARRIVED. We are by no means completely unpacked, but are slowly getting there. So thankful to have our stuff in country. Bedding. clothing. dishes. coffee. TVs. ALL of it. It's here, in our German home!